As Ready as I am Right Now

Believe it or not, but I did actually get into the nursing program this fall. They weren't very on top of things, getting the news out on time, but as someone who has dropped a lot of balls lately, I can't blame them. 

Today, I got my tuberculosis test completed, which is the last of the documentation I needed to gather for official admission. I got CPR certified, updated my vaccinations, submitted to a background check, registered for clinicals, etc. I even took a very lame class on how to succeed in the nursing program. It covered things like managing time and stress, etc., in a very general way. Luckily, I have developed those skills over time myself. I even bought myself a new planner, complete with highlighters and sticky notes.

The next step, then, is nursing school, starting in a month. Do I feel ready? I mean, I'm prepared. I've done all the things. But I still feel totally blind. I don't know what to expect. I wish someone would walk me through what my time will be like for this first semester. I know they'll do that in the first class, and that everyone is as blind as I, but I want to see. To know. I like having a plan and detailing and overthinking every step of the way, even if that plan changes from time to time. 

Nursing was never the plan, until recently. I want to be a labor and delivery nurse, but I also know that hours will be tough. So, maybe I'll start as a school nurse, while my kids are still little. I can even work on furthering my education at the same time. That's the plan, anyway. And that part of the plan scares me a lot less than actually taking the classes to get there. 

One reason for my nervousness is that most of the other students have been practicing CNAs for the last few years at least. While I am licensed, I have never worked in the field. I have never taken blood pressure with a sphygmomanometer (the exam only required digital tests). The most I've done was a weekend of clinicals. I feel like in the practical skills, I will be far behind.

I have to remind myself that I am smart. Not just smart. Really smart. And focused and hard working. I aced my anatomy and physiology courses. I aced microbiology and statistics. My lowest grade going back to school has been an A. I got an almost perfect score on the standardized test. When it comes to the terminology, pharmacology, etc, aspect of nursing, I am going to be ahead of the pack. 

I can do this. I am as ready as I am right now. And I can work with that.