sisters

Sometimes I wonder if I am the peacemaker or the antagonist of the family. Probably, like everyone else, I am a little of both. I tread lightly around some areas. Sometimes after a while of egg-shell walking I decided to stomp as hard as I can right in that same tender spot. I did that with mom. I've done that many times. It usually involves the parents, though sometimes there are tensions with my siblings, mainly Joyce.

Joyce has never learned to deal. If it were her fault I might feel better being harsher on her. Even with the situation as it is, I sometimes want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her what the world is like. There are consequences! That's my wisdom, plain and simple. Every child knows that to touch something hot is to get burned. Not Joyce. She wants to move out. Again. She can't get a roommate because she is too difficult to live with. But she won't live in a cheap apartment, "because it's not safe". She only has a minimum wage job because she dropped out of high school and won't get her GED. She has to pay car payments, insurance, cell phone bills, and now living expenses for herself and cat. Her budget after bills are paid: -200 dollars.

My mom flies to the rescue. Well not exactly. My mom called me to work out a budget for me for fall. She wanted to see if there is any money left over for supplementing Joyce's "independence". She asked my advice about the whole situation. I can understand that my mom doesn't want to throw her money away on something Joyce may give up on in a week, but she also wants Joyce to feel supported so that she will make an effort to better her life. Joyce's fear of failure is crippling. Here's the clincher. Will a safety net encourage Joyce to cross the tight-rope resplendently, or will it encourage failure by blunting its consequences? Sigh. I don't know.

Along the lines of sisters, my oldest (but not old, never old) sister gets into town tonight! She is the opposite of Joyce in many respects; she's organized, successful, goal oriented. And yet, she and Joyce have always been the closest to each other. Heather, I think, is the protector. She's classy and funny and strong and honest. I am going to have a blast with her, even though I have to work and share her with my brother. It's still always good to have a sister around. Only eight more hours!