marriage hungry

Momma Gardner is in town visiting her two--nay, three--daughters. I've been looking forward to her visit as if my own mother were coming, and when I was told that she had arrived, I bounded into Caitie's room and smothered mom with my hugs. Then Cassidy, Caitie and I perched on the bed and talked with her. Perched is perhaps the wrong word; we were all knotted together inextricably. Mom asked after our well being, if we ate right, slept enough, etc. Then she turned to me. How is everything going? she asked. I smiled. How are things going?! I had a list prepared of all the marvelous things I had accomplished in the last week alone. Look, I cried, at how amazing I am. She smiled supportively and then said, no, really...how are things? I'm not sure if I could describe my reaction to those words. I knew what she meant. I know her daughters.

For those of you who don't understand Gardner talk, this meant, how is your love-life?

The Gardner family are the most marriage-hungry people I have ever known, and most are happily married. That, I suppose, is the problem. If any had one ounce of regret about having entered into the state of matrimony, they might be less enthusiastic about persuading others to follow in the same path. Poor Emilie gets set up on more blind dates than anyone I know. What's more weird to me is that she enjoys it!

After her concert Tuesday night (shameless plug for Emilie: you should have gone because it was fabulous!) the sisters, mom, Cassidy and I all went to Grandpa's house to visit with the family. I was assured that the stay would not exceed half an hour. I should have known better. Anyway, the time was well spent. Cassidy and I had our ears full of secret behind-the-scenes Gardner affairs. And you know what? they're exactly the same as when they're in public. The puns fluttered in the air like moths near a porch light. Cass swatted them away as much as she was able, but I found I liked their mellow presence. What I spent my focus on was this: the matchmaking. Poor Cousin Gardner came over and brought his girl friend. As soon as they were out of ear shot (hopefully) getting food, Christie (that's mom) started in. They're so cute. She's the one. I laughed and added my hopes to their future felicity. The conversation rarely swayed from talk of coupling. Even when Cousin was talking about landscape architecture we were all listening to love connection. That's how it's been all week.

The Sisters are just like Mom. Five of us took a nap on Caitie and Emilie's bed on Sunday. We told our own bedtime stories. Starting with Debby on the far end, each girl told about the boys she likes, those who like her, and what is happening with each. Deb has unwelcome admirers. As does Caitie. After Cassidy and Emilie also admitted to liking no one, Cass remarked, I'm glad we saved the best for last. I rolled my eyes. When it came to me, I grinned. Let's make this painful, I thought. I have nothing to talk about. In my head I heard Marianne, "Neither of us has anything to say--I because I conceal nothing and you because you communicate nothing." Let's just say, I didn't get away with that.

Nor did I two days later when lying on the same bed, this time with Mom. Following her question, my face both fell with disappointment and lit up with amusement. I told her I had nothing to share. Cassidy laughed, and she and Caitie began telling my stories for me. To mom and others it must look as though I am being naturally modest. That, however, contradicts my nature, and contradictions do not exist. Check your premise. Those who know me know that yes, I am awkward about telling such things, but with the environment of close friends, a mom and a bed, even I would have shared had there been aught to share. Instead I just listened to their interpretations, which have been different than mine since the beginning.

Later, Cassidy ran the gauntlet. It was painless. Afterward, Mom plotted how best to get her to marry Steve. Everyone smiled. I object, I cried. I thought I got to marry him. Cassidy can have Nathaniel; he's closer to her age, and taller! But Audrey, smirked Cassidy, you've already got someone. Yes, nodded Mom, he-who-must-not-be-named (I swear, that's really what she said). I lamented, because I was supposed to end up her daughter. Oh, she comforted, you will be anyway... And his parents are so nice!

Mom has asked me if she might attend my wedding. I was overjoyed with the possibility. I will have someone to play mother of the bride. It was Cassidy that made me cynical. I've decided, she announced, that she's getting married in November! It seems that mindless giddiness is a much stronger force than cool reasoning. Evil is often like that. I'm not even dating anyone, I cried into the din. Marriage is not on my to-do list this year. Apparently in this instance--in my love-life--my opinion does not count. When I told them that Danny asked me out again, this time for next Friday's Men's Chorus choir concert, they all gave that knowing motherly look, which I need to add to my repetoire of belittling facial expression, and I knew that I had lost. Ooh, squealed Mom, Audrey Nelson. It's such a sweet name.